Opera Musings on the Eighth Night of Hanukkah January 1st, 2025

                                                    Hanukkah Musings.....

  My Grandmother Ann.....

                                                   And Opera Drawings I have Done 

January 5th, 2025      

  7th Night of Hanukkah 2025 ...candles glow...my grandmothers portrait nearby.

and below

SHABBAT ON FRIDAY NIGHT  with Angels, mermaids and bowl of fruit...

 
                         and so my long labyrinthian Jewish Journey found its home.My search...the tendrils of mystical time.... and my unbidden relationship to myunknown grandmother Ann came through as I perused my archive of Opera Drawingsdone over the years............and now in these present moments Celebrating Shabbat Gloriouslydone over the years.

 

I have so many Cheerful Happy Colorful Paintings of Hanukkah

"They look like Candy" a Rabbi remarked

and then this year I turned as well to the archive of my Opera Drawings

remembering how my late mother said:

"We didn't have religion! We had Opera!" 

Somehow this year I realized all the more how central Opera was to my late 

grandmother and my mother...so I turn to recall and look...

Here are some of my favorites including my Opera reflections often drawn with my wise cats 

nearby who purr and say

"We are not just Cute Cuddly Creatures! We love Opera Too 

and Feel its Emotions Deeply!"

The Upper Realms of Opera

Aida

La Boehme

                                          

La Fortse Del Destina

Madame Butterfly

Tosca

The Merry Widow

Don Giovanni

The Magic Flute

Rigoletto by Verdi

in the land of memories...recalling how my mother laid on the couch listening

to the Saturday Afternoon Opera..lost in her emotions of going to the Opera in 

Vienna long ago with her parents...and feeling the emotions of the Opera

all over again

Another emotional musing on my mother listening

to the Opera,,,

My feelings as I listen to the Opera and feel my mother's prescense...

One tiny bottle of Courage

One Tiny bottle of Courage. December 30, 2024

      Today is the 5th day of Hanukkah and I muse on how 21 years ago I was able to go to the Mikvah

(Ritual Bath) to affirm my connection to the Jewish people and to my ancestors.

       It was a courageous moment that culminated years of introspective study and struggle. But I like to think of that moment in the story of Hanukkah. How that one tiny bottle of oil lit up a whole life for me.

       That one tiny bottle of courage leads me to muse on other times in my life when one question or courageous moment led to wonderful moments and events.

. 

 

In late July 1975 I found myself on the small island of Inisheer, Aran Islands off the west coast of Ireland. While wandering the back roads I came upon an islander who I asked one small timid quesiton.

"Is there a cottage to rent on the island?'

The next day the boat did not sail and I went up to the pub. 

An islander asked if I was the American girl looking for a place to rent.

I said Yes and later was escorted to see the old cottage where Joe Mairtain the storyteller had lived with his wife Biddy. I immediately said yes and made a bad rent deal! Therein I returned in September of 1979 and lived there in the old storytellers cottage for 3 and a half years.

August 1988.

My friend Marcia called to ask if I was interested in an art job offered at a Jewish Day School in Saint Paul. I later intuitively felt that it was my Jewish ancestors tapping me on the shoulder to somehow remind and connect me with my Jewish ancestry. I soon interviewed for the job and came to work at the Jewish Day School where I began to understand the Jewish cycle of the year  through the work of our hands. It took a lot of searching but through circumstances I connected with Rabbi Allen 10 years later and through study with him was able to go to the mikvah for my Jewish affirmation in 2003. 

5th day of Hanukkah. 

One tiny bottle of courage revealed.

Those times.

There were so many many crisis and ER visits that after a while it became a blur.

But we held on and I kept drawing. Holding onto tiny bottles of courage and faith

that we poured out over impossible situations with seemingly no answers.

After one particulary brutal ER encounter Josh was admitted to the hospital.

That afternoon I sat outside feeling despair, but still drawing. 

A hospital accountant stopped to talk and remark on my drawing.

That led to me connecting to hospital administration and eventually to a 

show later that year. 

"Drawing through Crisis with Courage and Humor!"

later I was paid to do a project of Documenting the Hospital

"A Day in the Life of Hennepin Healthcare"

Tiny bottles of courage that led to so many illuninated moments.

  

       

  

 

I Keep Lighting Candles 5th night of Hanukkah

Musings on an Inner Spiritual Journey

5th Night of Hanukkah  December 29, 2024 

"I reach out to my ancestors and they reach back to me"

I honor my ancestors on all sides...CH White bent over his bible on his

porch in Waco, Texas... and the glorious tempestuous union of my

late parents James And Emily White whose backgrounds shaped my life.

And I honor my mysterious yearnings that stretched out over the years as I taught 

art in the Jewish Day School and learned the inner and outer cycles of the Jewish Holidays.

"The Steps of the mikvah are cool and green. I look around and then descend into the

deep waters of my soul. It has taken years and years to reach this point. 

I feel the cool eternal waters washing over my toes."

The Joy I felt.

Now 21 years later, on this fifth night of Hanukkah that marks time

I cannot stop lighting candles and soon the room is filled with light

reaching out into the dark night. Proclaiming my joy and inner light.

I continue to reach to my ancestors.

unknown, Isaac, my grandmother Ann, my mother Emily, Hannah. unknown.

My Hebrew name reflects who they were and I love the inner meaning of their names.

Hannah Yitzachah is my name.

Comfort and Laughter!

Saturday evening December 28, 2024 

Honoring Emma who brought you two Hot Sandwiches 

Helpless time says with compassion: 

"You haven't eaten for about twelve hours.."

Musings On Time: 

    It is  comforting to make a list of Things to Do and by day's end have checked off most of them.And the predictability of a schedule whether a job or personal projects to get done is a great thing.

         But then there are the times when Regular Time is upended and we find outselves without a guide or chart as we enter uncharted Territory.

                        ................Hospital Time..................suddenly my late husband and I found outselves adrift in Hospital Time....he was being pushed down long hallways and me following behind..until we were "settled" into a hospital room.....regular time left the moment we crossed the thresh hold and Josh laid there...tubes in place...I had only my sketchbook, pen, and paints and so there were on the lonely desert island of timeless hospital time...Regular Time rolled over and laughed.... a Schedule? things to do?  All Gone....there we were in Endless time....these are the drawings I did to mark that time.

.   

But as focused in as I was on our experience...our questions...and 

our uncertainties.... despite the challenges I was able to turn my gaze upon

those who came to our side with such compassion and helped us every step of the way.

               The Kindly Ambulance Driver                             Tibetan Cafeteria Workers

           Oh so helpful Kristin who brought Josh lunch.         Competent Dr Korkas 

             Qumar our nurse.                                                 Very late at night...Dr Casey Stessman.

Dr Lo comes in and asks careful, thoughtful questions.

Meliss.  PA- C        Empathy

                                           Josh's heart beating.      Our ultrasound team.

We tell Dr RH. Amy  "Yes, We Are Old Hippies."

So dear reader....these are just some of my musings and drawings

that drifted up from the tides of memories...as I look back on a 

timeless time of caring for my late husband Josh...

and how time drifted and became formless but also

 more meaningful and urgent than our everyday life..

This is enough for now. 

I will Draw up from the Well of Insight again and share more soon.

and always keeping in mind thatd

Drawing in the Lowly Places was where the Blessings flowed down.

I Steady my Steps Musings on Being a Mountain Goat

        One of Three Musings on the present Moment and the Nature of Time, Memory and Holidays.

I Steady my steps as I walk into twilight along the lake edge. Deepening dusk holds me as people sit hunched over their ice holes sitting on a bucket on the lake. Waiting. It is a patient kind of time.

I steady my step and memory rises up....suddenly I am back in the holy corridors of Hennepin Healthcare six years ago traversing difficult unknown medical territory. Suddenly it all comes back and I recall how the image of the Mountain Goat rose up one icy morning as I turned onto Highway 55 as it snowed and I was on my way to see Josh in Cardio Renal. Once again. Even as I gripped the steering wheel the image of the Mountain Goat rose up. I thought to myself! I can do this. 

I am  a Mountain Goat.

My feet are secure and will not lose their grip.

No matter how tough it gets, I can even hang upside down.

And survive.

And so once again I drew my way through for the next 6 weeks. Allowing the image of the Mountain Goat to be each appointment, each difficulty, each joy and each challenge. This is my personal testimony to how art can take our hand and guide us through challenging terrain.

For you the Reader here is a Selection of 6 drawings from the over 65 drawings I did. Here is how I navigated the Holy Corridors of Hennepin Healthcare and How Art helped me care for my beloved late husband Josh. Now of blessed memory